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Oh, By the Way, The Election Doesn’t Matter

Gov_Jeb_Bush

I’m not naive enough to think that many people don’t already know this on some level; but with the inevitable frenzy that accompanies the quadrennial spectacle in this country, it warrants a reminder that it really, REALLY doesn’t matter. As Frank Zappa said “Politics is the entertainment branch of industry.” Unless you’re an executive at a mega corporation, the outcome of any given election won’t make much difference to you or anyone you know. Elections are reality TV. Whatever happens will happen whether Mannequin A or Mannequin B is elected. How do I know? Because science. If science isn’t enough to convince you, read on.

Like a Trainwreck

Some people watch the debates out of morbid curiosity, and I guess I can understand that. However, others seem sincerely interested in them, which is weird because they’re boring. If you think that tuning into an election every few years makes you better informed, then I hate to say it; but you’re part of the problem. That’s exactly what the power elite wants: just tune in to the scripted political theater every couple years and cast your ballot for one of our pre-screened candidates. Change your Facebook icon for some cause. Watch Game of Thrones or the Super Bowl, go back to sleep. We’ll wake you up when we want to give the impression that you matter.

Stupidity has a certain charm – ignorance does not.
There is an inescapable irony here because although the debate on Monday didn’t matter, today something happened which decided the fate of literally trillions of dollars. Namely, the Federal Reserve decided not to raise interest rates. Let me submit that if you did not know about the latter, you are not qualified to understand the former. It goes without saying that the FOMC is an un-elected bureaucracy with a revolving door to Wall Street. It’s funny how we don’t get to vote on the important stuff.

Bombs and Bailouts

Maybe you weren’t paying attention, but the 2008 bank bailout was basically the most un-democratic thing imaginable. Personally, that was when the scales fell from my eyes. If an $800 billion taxpayer bailout (which was opposed by almost everyone) could be forced through Congress, then we’re clearly run by an oligopoly. The same thing is happening today in Syria. We’re in a proxy war about an oil pipeline with the only country on earth with enough nuclear weapons to wipe us off the map. No US lives or vital interests are at stake, yet the government is still involved despite the fact that the American people overwhelmingly oppose intervention.

Eugene Jebs

Jeb is the next president. Dude’s got all the money from the corporatocracy and he’s got a name brand behind him that’s sure to shovel billions to the military-industrial complex. I don’t care if Trump is the front-runner right now. They’ll find some way to destroy him, and they’ve been in the process of blowing up Hillary’s campaign for months now. Bernie Sanders couldn’t even stand up to some protesters. How’s he going to stand up to spies that come knocking with incriminating photos or emails? Besides, we all know Bush II didn’t win his election, yet he was still president. What makes you think Bush III will be any different?

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